At the start of the year I made a resolution to myself. (So cliche, I know.) Katy Perry's song Roar had recently come out and it was the song of the year. I love her music and I usually resonate with her lyrics. This song, however, SPOKE to me. As I'm very much a wallflower, I have become highly skilled in blending into my surroundings. I am often lost in the crowd and rarely do people notice me. I'm very proud of this ability and carry it with me everywhere. I read the other day that "shyness is the fear of social judgement." And yup, that's me - and for many reasons. My father taught me early to speak only when spoken to. I saw him display very conservative, traditional behavior to my mother: cook, take care of the child, and don't speak up. While I'm definitely a product of my upbringing, I've never dared to stray. I rarely voice my opinion (unless to my husband, because dammit we cannot watch The Terminator for the 68th time!) and I hate confrontation. As an only child, I've never had to fight my way for attention or try to stand out amongst the litter of children. I grew to grow into my own skin, adapt to my surroundings, provide my own entertainment, and blend into the crowd.
So, back to Katy Perry. Here are the lyrics to Roar (minus the chorus):
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything
Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I WENT FROM ZERO, TO MY OWN HERO
I vowed for 2014 to seize life and all opportunities and to finally become my own hero. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it or if I could. With only a handful of weeks left of the year, I can say my resolution is complete. And, here's why...
Adventurously, (and admittedly, very safely) I rock climbed and went to a trampoline park. Checking off Bucket List items, I saw Jerry Seinfeld perform and and MET Sarah Mclachlan and comedian Gina Brillon after seeing their live shows. Traveling, I went to Tahoe and Hawaii - where birds ate out of my hand! Domestically, I hosted my first Brunch and finally completed my backyard. (Not in the same day.) Cosmetically, I finally converted all my make-up to organic and cruelty free. Fashionably, I bought my first few skirts (I'm a jeans kinda girl) and skinny pants. (Their adorable!) Getting in touch with my animal spirit, I attended Oakland's first Cat Festival and slightly adopted a second cat. (Another story, another time.) Check out a few of my memories below!
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| Scary as hell, but rewarding as f*ck! |
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| We're so exhausted (er, old) someone couldn't figure out where to look. |
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| Best day of my life! |
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| We installed that wood flooring all by ourselves! |
While all of this contributed to the best year ever, none of this is why I became my own hero.
At the beginning of November I attended a three day event planning retreat. Attendees came from all over the US and most were entrepreneurs who had already paved their way into the industry. Located in gorgeous Sonoma and held at Ramekins Culinary School and Inn, I was excited and nervous to arrive. I came alone and knowing only one of the hosts. I do not own my own business, nor am I yet properly placed in the event planning industry. I'm no florist, photographer or planner, but I've placed my hands in all aspects on a smaller scale. I'm proud of what I've accomplished but, for obvious reasons, did not feel properly placed within the group I was sitting in with and wasn't sure if I would be able to make friends. I was a nervous wreck for a solid week before coming.
The event has ended, and I'm sad it's over. My gratitude to the three hosts and their team is endless. They created an environment of beauty, indulgence, knowledge, fun, and decadent food. (And, wine!!) Friendships were made, laughter was abundant, and the stories were enriching. I left FULL in so many ways.
I proud of myself for trying something new, stepping out of the box and saying "YES."
